i have to say that i am pretty discouraged right now.
i tend to be everyone’s support, everyone’s safeplace.
but here i am, alone again on another friday night, crying.
and i’ll get up tomorrow and go through the motions of being happy, completing tasks for everyone else, but i definitely feel very hollow right now.
and if anyone bothers to notice, or realizes that i am unhappy, i’ll get some hamhanded attempts to cheer me, mostly making me feel sorry that they feel guilty enough to TRY.
i feel so empty right now. and i feel like i have to be. there is very little room for my own emotions anymore. i’m so busy putting out fires, running interference, playing devil’s advocate and being everyone else’s sounding board, that i have very little time for my own mental health anymore.
i am exhausted.
and, as trite as it is, it’s just not fair.
the one thing that brings me joy, my writing, is looked upon as a joke, dismissed as a waste of time.
welp. it’s about time to put on my smiley face and fix everyone’s problems but my own.
this is my own personal pity party.
thanks for coming.